有些男人寧養狗卻不肯娶妻

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Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives?

1. 你愈晚回家牠越興奮

The later you come home the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. 你錯喊另外一隻狗的名字牠也不會介意
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. 你東西撒得滿地都是牠很高興
Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. 牠的父母永遠不會來訪
   A dog's parents never visit.

5. 你提高嗓子強烈表態牠也不反感
Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. 你永不須要等呀等的,狗狗永遠隨時準備好出門
You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. 你喝醉了狗狗覺得你很有趣
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. 狗狗很喜歡打獵和釣魚
Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. 狗狗不會半夜把你推醒問你 , 牠死了你會不會找另外一條狗 ?
A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'

10. 狗狗生了孩子 , 你可以登個廣告把孩子打發掉
If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. 狗狗會乖乖讓你套個項圈而不會說你變態
A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. 狗狗從你身上嗅到別的狗的味道 , 不但不會生氣還會覺得很有趣
If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. 狗狗很喜歡坐小貨車的後座
Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

最後,但很重要:
And last, but not the least...

14. 狗狗離開你時，絕不會分掉你一半的家產！
If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.